while the tories argue about who has the most grey hair, the biggest beer belly or the highest receeding hair line, I think its about time they had a new leader. Rather than a boring human, they could just get an ipod, fill it with a few soundbites and leave it on shuffle. For a bit of extra fun you could put some random opposing policies "less tax" "more tax" "invade Iraq" "don't invade Iraq" "copy labour" "be different from labour" and watch all the former public schoolboys scuttle back and forth from left to right in an entertaining benny-hill stylee.

Given that the average battery in an ipod lasts about 11 months, this would give it a considerable advantage over the average lifespan of a Tory leader.
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